Shawn Pearlman

Pac-Man Death Rattle

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 00:42:00 -0400

I was walking around Wall Street and found this right around the corner from the NY Stock Exchange. It’s written in Monopoly money. How coincidental considering our economic crisis!

Twenty minutes later I walked by the same spot and it was gone.

I almost got robbed!

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:36:03 -0400

Just now I was walking down the street and two guys were walking in the opposite direction and one of the guys grabbed me and I maneuvered out of his hold and started running and the two guys ran after at me and then I started yelling “Help!” and that made them stop and turn around and run the other way. The potential items that could’ve been stolen were an iPhone, fifteen dollars, and a bag of groceries with spring salad mix and salad dressing. While fleeing from the two guys, the bottle of salad dressing fell out of the bag. It shattered. Although I’m incredibly lucky to get away unharmed with most of my stuff, I really wish I had that dressing. I immediately flagged down a police car and they drove me around the neighborhood trying to identify the robbers. One of the cops asked me if I was from Oklahoma because of the level of my surprise. We couldn’t find them. Good night!

That Lit song

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:31:56 -0400

Did you know that song “Miserable” by Lit was edited? The unedited lyrics go like this:

You make me come

You make me complete

You make me completely miserable

You make me completely miserable-y rich

You make me completely miserably Rich-ard Lewis fan club president

You make me completely miserably Richard Lewis fan club president.

You make me completely miserably Richard Lewis fan club president… Larry David and him are so funny on ‘Curb.’

The original version is 16 hours long. And the whole thing is actually an acrostic poem for the word “YYYYYYYYY” Mind blowing!

Bastille Day

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:35:10 -0400

Restart. I caught myself staring vacantly at a wall. What’s interesting about this day? It’s 07/14/2008. Seven times two is fourteen. Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. Bizarre.

Day After Independence Day.

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 12:10:00 -0400

“Everyone has one [insane] thing.”

The quote above is said by Mark Wahlberg as the Eddie Adams/Dirk Diggler character in Boogie Nights. I doctored it to tailor to the subject of my first blog entry. Since the entries in this blog will most likely be more comedy related, I decided to get my personal therapeutic one out of the way. Here goes:

I have this thing with restarting my life at various points throughout the year. If I feel like I’m not being productive enough, I will mark off a key date in the future to start not wasting a single moment of time. And it can’t just be any ordinary date. It has to have some special quality attached to it. Some past examples from this year are March 4th (the only day when said aloud is a motivational speech in itself); March 20th (my birthday and the Spring equinox); June 7th (06-07-08); and Flag Day (a joke).

Inevitably, I will grow tired of checking off every entry on my to-do list and falter somewhere down the line. I will find myself not maximizing my full potential, like I will be watching YouTube videos of French parkour instead of watching YouTube videos on how to reverse our economic crisis. In a moment of awareness, I will realize my life is being wasted and set a new key date.

The most recent example of these key dates is this morning, the day after the 4th of July. The date is 7/5 which I justify as special because 75 is the number of years in the average life expectancy. This is especially special because it has the sense of death tacked on as a reminder (and a motivator). Although I have restarted several times, I’m optimistic about this one. I mean, I’m already three-fourths of the way through a blog entry. Spoiler alert.

If this one happens to fail to get me to self-actualization, then I have another one in my pocket. It’s August 1st (08-01-08; the zip code I grew up in in the SF Valley which is also mentioned in the memorable scene in the memorable movie Swingers where Jon Favreau’s friends are infinitely more impressed that their friend got a girl’s number from a different/better area code).

For me that old quote, “Don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today” is more like, “DON’T don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today.”